Difficult times

Discussions relating to Gynaecological cancers and treatment, risk, symptoms, etc
JudyB
Forum Queen
Forum Queen
Posts: 3513
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:02 pm

Re: Difficult times

Postby JudyB » Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:00 pm

Thanks everyone, just needed to vent. I knew you would all understand. Jezza I really didn't want to go back and was getting quite narky and niggly about everything because I had to made worse by the fact that Pete is still home until the 30th. Then I thought about Freda who didn't have the chance and poor Rose wanting so much to get back to her gallery and I felt guilty. It made me think of all the lovely girls here with ABC who are still going off to work with the added burden of ongoing treatment and those of them who would love to work but can't commit because of this ***** of a disease or are just too plain ill. And I'm complaining? What right do I have to complain?

As to the 'mean' person lol yes he is still there. We get along fine, I think he has realised that I am more than capable of doing my job. I am managing everything well but at the end of the day I lost so much respect for my boss which I am afraid will never return. I don't think I could ever make them understand how wrong they were and the way their actions affected me at a time that I just didn't need to be treated that way. When I leave though I will look forward to giving them a very in depth exit interview. We have a new CEO who took me aside when I came back and asked me of any way that I thought the company could improve. I told him that I thought my situation had been handled very poorly and caused a lot of problems for both myself and the company. He said he would address it but as that was a year ago and nothing has been said then I doubt he will. Definitely some processes need to be put into place regarding long term illness and leave etc.
DX Sep 09, LB mast with axillary diss. Grd 2 Ductal Carc. 50mm diam. Margins clear. 1/13 nodes. OR+ PR+, HER2- . FEC x 3, Taxotere x 3, RADS x 30, Tamoxifen, DIEP reconstruction April 2011, Femara 2013, Oophorectomy 2013.

User avatar
jezza
Forum Queen
Forum Queen
Posts: 6701
Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2006 1:30 pm

Re: Difficult times

Postby jezza » Mon Jan 09, 2017 4:23 pm

Judy....you gave me the kick up the backside that I needed! I wasn't looking forward to going back to work but I can honestly say that after reading your post I went back, and felt lucky that I could. Don't tell anyone but I almost enjoyed it.

So hard to accept when someone declines so rapidly....I just don't understand this world sometimes. It certainly is depressing when you hear all the upsetting things happening and when it's close to you ...well ...very hard to not dwell on it and everything else.

Hugs....hope work was ok...is that person who was mean to you still there?

jezza
Dx Jan. 1992 9mm Grade 3 IDC node neg. LB mast. Prophylactic RB mast. 6 months later. No chemo. No rads. Saline implants. 22 years NED. (No Evidence of Disease)

User avatar
Janette
Forum Legend
Posts: 15735
Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 10:23 am
Contact:

Re: Difficult times

Postby Janette » Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:39 pm

Hi Judy,
I can understand how you would be badly affected by losing both friends particular one with a similar cancer. I'm really glad you come here to air your feelings and share them with friends. :hugs:
Janette

Dx LCIS Dec 1997, Dx IDC, DCIS, bilateral LCIS Oct 2005 er+pr+her2-
Bilateral Mastectomies, expanders and silicone implants

Mighty Oak
wasn't born yesterday
wasn't born yesterday
Posts: 186
Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 11:27 am

Re: Difficult times

Postby Mighty Oak » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:52 pm

Hi judy,
Sorry to hear about your friend, Freda. Oh to be young again and untouched by this disease. It has taken our innocence and left us with a fear deep down inside. As much as we try to push it into the background, there will always be occasions when it rears its ugly head. The fact that Freda's diagnosis was similar to your own makes you feel her loss especially deeply. It is during times like this that we should remind ourselves of how lucky we are. We are still able to love and be loved and to appreciate what we do have.....life!

Gentle hugs to you, Judy,
Mo xxx
Dx Jan 2016 Stage 3, 5cm grade 3 tumour er/pr-/her2+ FEC X 4, Taxotere x 4, Herceptin 12 mths.
Bilateral mastectomy with L axillary clearance followed by Rads x 25.

5mm er+\pr+ her2- tumour plus dcis x3 found during final pathology

The new girl
Forum Queen
Forum Queen
Posts: 2332
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 5:46 pm

Re: Difficult times

Postby The new girl » Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:32 pm

:hugs: hi judy,it's not at all selfish,that is so sad to hear about your online friends. That fear you speak of is something that we all have I know I do,I don't know if it's something that lessens as time goes by,the only thing we can do is live our life because no one really knows what's around the corner even if your a healthy person who has never been touched by cancer,but cancer Sucks big time. Wishing you peace and serenity judy,and strength to carry on even with a heavy heart.
Rosa

ruth1
Forum Queen
Forum Queen
Posts: 2201
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:27 pm

Re: Difficult times

Postby ruth1 » Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:17 am

your post isn't selfish at all Judy - its so hard when we lose people even if we've never met them except online. It certainly brings home the uncertainty we all live with and struggle to keep out of mind. I am so scared of progression happening and I have to work on not dwelling on it which is easier said than done. Even though I am ebc my mother died of same so I fear history repeating. I now distract myself when these thoughts are pervasive - baking, cooking anything to stop it. Waking in night - its hard to turn the brain off. I hope you can find a way to get through today and yes - we are lucky in comparison so hold onto that thought. :hugs:
Dx IDC 2cm grade 3 ER/PR pos. DCIS grade 3, fam hist metastatic BC. Bi lat mastectomy, FEC x 4, surgical revision pending. AI x 5 yrs Femara

JudyB
Forum Queen
Forum Queen
Posts: 3513
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:02 pm

Difficult times

Postby JudyB » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:42 am

The lady from my non cancer related forum who found she had breast cancer when she had surgery for tumours on her spine is now in her last days. We have been told it is only a matter of time. I didn't sleep well last night thinking about her which of course led me to think about the people that we have lost already and those that are living with ABC. I didn't want to check the forum this morning as I just didn't know what to say so I went on FB. The first thing that popped up with a post from the daughter of a friend I made through the FB uterine cancer page which I no longer belong to, saying that her mother had passed away overnight. This woman added me as a friend because we both had the same type of uterine cancer which I liken to triple negative (only because there isn't much treatment for it except chemo.) This lady was diagnosed later than me and went through the same treatment. I was the person she kept her eye on because while I was ok she had hope that she too would be ok. Just before Christmas she told everyone that scans in November showed that her cancer had returned and her doctor said she would be lucky to live until St Valentine's Day. I thought this was a stupid thing to say but she is in the USA and they seem to do things a lot differently there.

My post is a selfish post as I need to unload. I have told my husband how sad I am to be losing both these friends and how tired I am of this horrible disease but I can't tell him that what really has upset me is how quickly Freda has gone. At the beginning of November she had no idea that the cancer had returned. I don't know why she had her scans but her doctor did say at the time that he didn't expect to see any cancer so I am assuming that they were just her usual scheduled scans which they do in the USA. It brings home to me how unsure my life still is. I know I just need to be thankful that there is no sign of cancer at the moment and just live my life and that is what I am doing but I know that you will all understand how scared this has made me feel today.

I also need a kick up the backside as yesterday I was in a terrible mood thinking about going back to work and things around the house that were irritating me. I have had a timely reminder of how lucky I am that not only do I have a job to go back to but I am healthy enough to be able to do it.

These diseases under the common name of cancer are rotten and I hope that someone soon comes up with a cure or better still something to stop it happening in the first place.
DX Sep 09, LB mast with axillary diss. Grd 2 Ductal Carc. 50mm diam. Margins clear. 1/13 nodes. OR+ PR+, HER2- . FEC x 3, Taxotere x 3, RADS x 30, Tamoxifen, DIEP reconstruction April 2011, Femara 2013, Oophorectomy 2013.


Return to “Gynaecological Cancers”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest