weird reaction

[Fossyg]

Hi Jan. Thanks for your reply first up. Perhaps I am jumping way ahead. I tend to do that as I am a thinker and planner. I have been thinking of this for a few months and do all my research online. I've been monitored for a few years by a breast clinic due to fibroadenomas, cysts etc. I have fibrocystic breasts as do alot of women. That combined with my family history (only my grandmother) and some lifestyle things like late child birth no breastfeeding etc has resulted in a moderate risk of bc. I've done online risk calculators as well as talking to doctors at clinic and gp's. Yeah I don't qualify for genetic testing and I'm aware that only a small % of bc is genetic. All that being taken into account and the fact that I don't want to put myself through another twenty years plus of mammograms, multiple biopsies on a yearly basis has brought me to this point. I don't need my boobs, don't feel particularly attached to them and would be happier if they were just not there. I don't feel my attractiveness is related to my figure or my looks especially at 41 I'm no oil painting and my future modeling career is looking doubtful now if I didn't have a mast. I'd probably be booking in for a reduction anyway and that would give a whole set of screening issues due to scar tissue. It's strange to me that if I had a reduction to an a cup no one would really have any qualms but because you mention the mastectomy word everyone freaks out. It would be so much easier to argue my case if I were brca positive. I guess that's my point. If I could go to a plastic surgeon and request a mast. I would do it then I wouldn't have to justify anything to anyone but I have multiple suspicious areas that I would want tested and checked. I think a breast surgeon would be a better choice but if she refuses to do it I will look at plastic surgery.

[jayem]

[Fossyg]

While chatting to a counsellor I mentioned that I didn't want to get the genetic test for brca1/2 because in my mind the results would not change anything for me. If I tested positive I would definitely take the necessary steps but if I tested negative I would still want a pbm. There are a lot of reasons why I want a mastectomy and my possible genetic risk is just one facet. She was a doctor and yet I still had to explain what % of bc can be attributed to genes. She reacted as if I was overeacting (not the first time this has happened). She just didn't "get it". I don't think anyone gets it. I'm sorry if this offends anyone and I admire everyone on this site and have a special empathy with high risk girls but I almost feel that those who have tested positive for brca1/2 are lucky in a way. That just sounds terrible but when explaining you are scientifically proven to have a high risk just shuts up everyone that dares to doubt you and your decisions. Me on the other hand, I have to say that I don't know whether or not I have the gene mutation but have other additional risks and they just look at me like I'm a crackpot. I'm so frustrated maybe I'll just say that I'm positive. No I won't, that's just idiotic, think of all my poor relatives that might worry unnecessarily if that news got out. Sorry to vent.

On another note I'm having to lie to my family as I pursue my plans to have a mastectomy because I know their reaction will be horror and disbelief. Maybe I'll break the news to them post surgery when my chest is a little flatter than expected. I'm so gutless. Wish I had a supportive family. It doesn't help that my grandmother died young from bc months after having her mastectomy. I should understand their fears but I'm just wallowing in my "poor me" attitude. Any advice for breaking the news to them? Should I do it before surgery or after ? I'm afraid they'll try and change my mind. Or my mum will refuse to help me during recovery with my girls. Eek. My meeting with my bs is in a week and a bit and I'm assuming she will do it.