My big Sis

A place for partners, family and friends to share experiences and information.

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indigo
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Re: My big Sis

Postby indigo » Sun Jul 04, 2010 2:41 am

Hi Frances,
My big sis had it too. I joined this forum because she was an active participant in here for a while and got sick of my questions and having to explain things. I got really scared about it because our grandma died of bc in the 60's but no info has been kept about it for us , I wanted more info on the triple negative aspect of it because she was triple negative and was 31 when it was discovered. I have found that there are lots tidbits of info and links to reliable sites that have helped me to start supporting her and also for me to get over the thought that If it happened to her I am next if you know what I mean?
I hope you and your sister hold up okay, there have been lots of blues that I thought she was being a cow, but as I learned about some of the stuff she might have been feeling I have lots more patience with her, even if she is a grumpy old woman who needs to chillax.
I truly hope you have the best of luck with it all, I hate the thought of losing my sis, she was always there for me and I thought she always would be. Now I know she is mortal and it is soooooo scary to think of s life without her, but I am trying to be better to her. I take her a beer every time I get back to Perth, it's funny she gets half smashed on a stubby now, breast cancer sure did change her in some ways but in others she is still the same.
I am glad she told me to research it myself, I don.t know everything there is to know, but at least now I am not terrified of breast cancer in the way I was.
Sorry if it doesn't make sense or is too long,
Indi.

francesmckenna
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Re: My big Sis

Postby francesmckenna » Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:53 pm

Thank you - Im sure I will have plenty of questions

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Re: My big Sis

Postby molly dooker » Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:59 am

Hi Frances,
It is a devastating and scary time for the whole family, not just the one with the dx.
Your sister is so lucky to have you. You and her will find so much support from people who genuinely know what you are both experiencing.
Just being there for her whenever she needs you is so important.
Welcome Frances, I am so sorry for the reason for joining the forum, but so glad you found us.
:hugs: :hugs:
Chris

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Re: My big Sis

Postby kiwijan » Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:57 am

like your sister; nobody in my family history had bc until I was dx at the age of 64 !!!! Even then I was still mighty scared of what the future journey was going to be like. It all worked out with loads of support from the super ladies on this forum and I had a hubby who was my "rock". Just being there for your sister and doing the obvious without her having to ask is fantastic. She is mighty lucky to have you. :hugs:
Stage 1; Grade 11; bc. ER/PR positive; lumpectomy and rads. Finished 5yrs of tamoxifen on 1/11/10

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Re: My big Sis

Postby Doxiamonev » Tue Apr 06, 2010 1:13 am

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Yes it's a very scary time for all, you have come to the right place :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Hugs

Doxia
Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses." Alphonse Karr

Dx 27.12.07,Gr 3, IDC Lt breast 1cm (Prim Ca) & 2.5cm (L/Node)
Bilateral Mastectomy & tissue expanders inserted, Axc. clearance 1/17+, Triple Neg.Tx 4 AC chemo,12 wkly Taxol (28/7/08)2 yrs NED!

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Re: My big Sis

Postby Janette » Mon Apr 05, 2010 10:11 pm

Hi and Welcome Frances,
There's a lot of support here for you, your family and your sister. :hugs:
Janette


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Re: My big Sis

Postby warpgirl » Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:59 pm

Hi Frances and welcome - wonderful to see that you are here for your sister. Lots of advice and support for both of you, and a friendly bunch of Perth ladies here on the forum if you ever want to meet up for lunch or a coffee to compare notes, talk to people who really *do* understand, have a laugh or a cry, whatever.

Lots of ways you can help her too - practical things like meals, a bit of housework, childcare, taking her to appointments and so on. Also just being there for her and letting her go through the rollercoaster of emotions without, as TanS says, telling her to stay positive. Cancer sucks big time and feeling down, irritable, that it is all unfair and too hard is part of the journey.

Best wishes as you go forward from here
Regards
Helen

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Re: My big Sis

Postby TanS » Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:51 pm

For me............I found it easier to be the one dxd...........rather than having to watch someone I loved go through treatment. Another tip...........dont tell your sister to "BE POSITIVE" all the time...........it drives us bonkers!!!! Its normal to go through so many different emotions..........laughing one minute...........bawling the next. Its normal to think about the worst.............death. This doesnt mean that you are wishing for the worst or have given up............it means you are normal........and no one can be positive all the time.

I guess I'm trying to say, give your sister permission to share however she feels at the time. I only say this as I felt very let down by some friends..........whenever I tried to discuss my fears with them..........their response was........."Oh you cant think like that..........think positive". Thats when I came looking for this forum.

We share as many laughs as we do tears and fears. We have lots of practical tips for getting through different treatments. We celebrate every victory and milestone. We are also here for you...........anytime you need to talk, need advice or just a chat.

:hugs:
Tanya
"Promise me you will always remember:
You're BRAVER than you believe,
and STRONGER than you seem,
and SMARTER than you think."

Christopher Robin said this to Winnie-the-Pooh, written by A. A. Milne in 1926!!

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Re: My big Sis

Postby yowyow » Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:38 pm

I must add, this is such a scary time, until you get the pathology results and have
first appointment with an oncologist, you all really feel like your in limbo land.

have faith in the latest stats (which are normally 5 years behind - so are actually better than reported)........... breast cancer is a hugely funded, researched, disease
the survival rates are improving every day. Early Breast Cancer dx can boast up to a 95%
survival rate at 5 years, different stages will decrease that percentage but its still very high
for most diagnosis.

:hugs:
Nav
every day without laughter is a wasted day !!!!


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Re: My big Sis

Postby yowyow » Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:33 pm

Hiya frances mckenna....here... I add my "no family history, diagnosed the day I turned 36" grandmother passed away at 94 , my grandfather was 101.......... etc......... WTF !

cancer sux and does not discriminate. :hugs: :hugs: to you, your sis and family

It sounds like you are going to be a big support to your sister already, she is probably in
"a big slow surreal fog" at the moment, she is sooooooo lucky she has you.

A cancer diagnosis normally results in quick surgery, please dont let that worry you too much.

my experience, I was diagnosed on a friday, GP had already made appointment for me with surgeon
on the monday, was in surgery by thursday.

I found it hard to ask for help for a while......... she might just need someone to come in and do things, take control. Whenever someone asked me if they could help, and what could they do, I didnt have answers and didnt want to even take the time to think about how they could help.

Lots of frozen meals in the freezer, mop, vacuum, shop (especially shop- hard work when you have no energy) Not sure how old your sis is, but if she has kids, take them out on weekends, movies, blading, parks - just so she can have an hour or two rest.
Dont let her say, no, dont need help....... (unless it seriously really pisses her off)
I just didnt want to think.......... someone just please DO IT !

That all sounds harsh, but its just my experience and how I felt.

Please keep in contact and let us know how you are getting on.

If you want to share your sis's operations, pathology etc....... there is always someone here who has done similar and can help with their own experiences and what helped them.

Take care and :hugs: :hugs: I felt I worried more about how my family was coping than how I was
:hugs:
Nav

every day without laughter is a wasted day !!!!




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Re: My big Sis

Postby schoolteacher » Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:31 pm

:hugs: :hugs: A diagnosis is a HUGE shock for the whole family. She will get through this! I had no family history either so it was a very unpleasant surprise. your sister is lucky to have you :wave:

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My big Sis

Postby francesmckenna » Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:07 pm

My older sister has just been diagnosed. What a shock - no family history that we know of, and a tumor that is growing quicker than any of us really want to think about :( Early days, but the Docs want her into surgery ASAP. I guess we are all about to take a crash course in Cancer.
I know she is on the boards also - so,
Love you Sis. You'll be ok - we will be there with you or as long and as often as you need us. Dont be afraid or too proud to ask for help. :hugs:


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