Wife just diagnosed ?!?!?

[Janine]

Sorry to hear that your wife had to go back into hospital. I hope they can clear the infection up soon and get her recovery back on track.

I think what you are feeling is pretty normal. I hope some other partners reply to you.

There are various forms of support and assistance available for partners and families of cancer patients that may ease the load a little. Cancer Council Helpline ( 13 11 20 ) is a good place to start looking for services in your area. Breast nurse and social worker too can help.

Things will get better.

[sparkles3001]

Oh Sammo,
it's not easy - my DH was oblivious, but there are support groups for you available, here in WA there is one through - if they can't help you I am sure they would be able to give you a pointer in the right direction to someone who can.
I don't blame you for being angry, in a way I wish my DH had got angry but instead he got p***ed.
It's really important for you to be supported at the moment, which ever way you can, whether it's here, by a counsellor or social worker, or in a support group, or by family.
This isn't an easy position for you to be in, Lord knows it's the last thing we expect in our 30's to have to face, but please try to give yourself some down time from it, get the kids looked after by someone else for a little bit of time so you can see your darling wife without them there, go have a meal and one beer or drink with a mate without the kids.
You have to do something to keep yourself sane mate, it's no good to anyone if you fall in a heap - especially for you. Go for a run IN THE MORNING to burn off some of the adrenalin, or take the kids for a gentle walk in a park.
Good luck mate,
it's a really sh**y thing to face with little kids, but the up side is you have us and so does your wife - whenever you need us - ok?
Love to you all and best of wishes
Sparkles

[Janette]

Sammo,
I'm sorry to hear your wife is back in hospital. I hope they sort out the infection quickly and that drainage stops. Fingers crossed those scans are all clear.

I can't help with a partner's view, but I'm really glad I didn't have to worry about someone else's emotions. On the other hand I wasn't fortunate enough to have a doting partner who shows the dedication that you and many other partners of the women on this forum do.

[cas145]

Hi Sammo sorry to here that your wife is so unwell give her my reguards. Now for you please set up an appt with either the breast care nurse or the social worker so that things can be put in place to help you. Cas

[sammo]

Again, thanks so very much for the information. It looks like we will have to pay 'susannes' a visit. Thanks and it looks so nice.

But, my poor wife is back in Hospital. The 2 drains that she has are still filling up to 200ml overnight and the district nurse says the wound sites are infected and there is too much draining out. They can't be removed until under 20ml.

So, she is now back in hospital, having blood tests and the like, to see where the infection is and trying to beat it.

She has the CT scan on Friday and is having a full body scan on Monday.

At least then we will know what we have in store for us.

Just a quick question for the other partners out there.
I feel SO DAMN angry that my lovely wife has cancer, that I feel I am taking my anger out on her. I try not to, but I am just finding it hard to cope and deal with it all. And considering that she has been the family backbone for so long, which is now just a distant memory, makes it even harder for me to take up the slack. I made her brekky in bed this morning to try and cheer her up. Not sure if it worked, because she is sick from this infection.

Anyway, we're off to visit her in Hospital and hopefully the girls will put the smile back on her face.

[cheryl]

sammo, was at Westmead Hospital yesterday and found a leaflet on wigs. try www.wigsonwheels.com.au Diane Guy 0407896415

[Doxiamonev]

Hi Sammo,
Cheryl mentioned to check with Look Good Feel Better.
Did your wife do the Look Good Feel Better program? If not, make sure she does it, it is fantastic & you (your wife) get a whole lot of makeup (popular brands) for free. The LGFB is a free program, the ladies there show how to use scalfs and where to buy wigs, it is so much fun!! This is one to do!
Ask your breast care nurse for booking details.

[Gail]

Looks gorgeous Sue! Everyone wants me to wear my blonde wig as they all loved it, thought I would get a good one so I could wear after! of course, never had it on my head since. But I do look better in it.

[sue2211]

Hi Sammo. I bought a wig from Suzannes wigs in Sydney. I can't praise the ladies who work there highly enough. 1st appointment took my daughter and tried on many styles. (I knew that she'd be brutally honest). 2nd appt, my hair was cut from long to short for free. Chose a short wig as I thought they looked more natural. They said to call when my hair started to fall out which it did 2 weeks and 2 days after 1st chemo. The ladies clippered my hair then refitted the wig, and cut and styled the wig for free.
Have included a photo of me with my wig on. I now have my own inch and a half of hair on my head, so no longer use it.
.
They were so understanding and I never felt pressured or ill at ease.
Most people had no idea I was wearing a wig, and thought I'd just cut my hair. The wig was $400 and I got $200 back from NIB.
Suzannes website is www.suzannewigs.com.au The address is on the website and her office is just up from David Jones in Sydney.
Best of luck wherever you choose to go.
sue x

[Gail]

When I went to the cancer council here, they had a room full of wigs whereby you make an appointment and a lady fits them for you and you can have a couple as long as you like, they are donated or new. But I also brought a $485 blonde one and I got I think $185 back through MBF.

[gallopinggranny]

some of the hospitals have wig shops/hairdressers, perhaps you could enquire there. i can honestly say that among the girls in Adelaide who have worn wigs, i could not tell that it wasn't their hair. the wigs are so good but get very hot, so try and get one that lets the air circulate.

[cheryl]

[Janette]

Hi Sammo,
Thanks for the update. I'm so glad your family is together again, nothing like it, to help with recovery.

I can't help much with information on wigs I'm afraid, but the Cancer Council may be able to help. I'm sure someone here should have some info. You could also put a thread in Discussions if you would like to. It may be a little more obvious.

[sammo]

Hello to everyone.

Well, my lovely wife has just been released and is finally home. She still has the 2 drains and her little bag to carry it around, but she is home. The kids are so excited.

Anyway, just a quick question. My wife has been looking on-line for a wig and loves the 'Rachel Welch' brand, but she can only locate the US stockist and with the poor aussie dollar, they are SO expensive.

So, does anyone know of a stockist for this brand, or any other good reputable wig stores. Most likely we will head into Sydney for the day, so any stores here would be so appreciated.

Thanks again, your lovely words have surely helped me through this difficult period.

[Doxiamonev]

Thanks for the update Sammo.
I agree with you, this forum is the best- it has (and continues) to help me with all questions/queries I may have.
I know you are all missing your wife (and mum) but those drains are there for a reason, what I was told the drains do not come out until they are draining 30mls or less within a 24hr period. When I had my first lot of sugery I had one drain in for 2 weeks- this is normal, so don't worry
Glad that the reconstruction pics have helped your wife.
Good luck with the body & bone scan.
Take care