breast cancer friend with lung mestastises

A place for partners, family and friends to share experiences and information.

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Postby jo » Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:22 pm

Joys I think Chris & the others have said it all. I also have lung mets & got the results of my last scan yesterday & although there are tumors scattered through my lungs they have hardly grown in 3 years. I am on Femara & it works for me. There is always a new drug on the horizon!
Just show you care. Cheers Jocelyn

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Postby chris » Fri Mar 28, 2008 8:48 pm

Joys I have ABC to the lung plus every where else & I have never been given a date time when I would die.
Your friend may well die within the year but she may well go on for 2 or 6 who knows
My longest standing friends come reound once a month & we go to dinner together. My neighbours & I have a Woody Allen video night every 2-3 months I have a friend from this forum whom I email, phone go out with she & I are great supports for each other.
What your friend needs is practical support & ideas for & about her children, that's what she will be worried most about. I have spoken to my daughters friends & made sure they know what is going on & they are all ready to support my daughter when the time comes. (my daughter is an adult young woman but still my only child who carries a great deal of my illnes on her shoulders & needs that support from her friends). I have found that if people know exactly what the situation is they are more understanding & have a better idea of how to react & act. Chris

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Postby Janette » Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:34 pm

Joys and Tricia,
As the others have said to just be there for your friends and make them feel like they can talk about whatever they need to. I'm sorry, hopefully they can do well with their treatments. :hugs: :grouphug:

Dx LCIS Dec 1997, Dx IDC, DCIS, bilateral LCIS Oct 2005 er+pr+her2-
Bilateral Mastectomies, expanders and silicone implants

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Postby Janine » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:30 pm

Can I just add that listening can be a huge help. Even if you don't want to hear it, let them talk if they want to. If you don't understand something, ask.
When you have abc, a friend who wants to hear and understand you is precious (few and far between).
1st dx ILC st 3, er+, pr+, her2-, T3, N1 1998. Bone mets 2004. Liver mets 2008. Leptomeningial mets 2009.

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Postby Shell225 » Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:08 pm

Joys and Tricia,

I'm so very sorry. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: I think the other ladies have said it all.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. Robert Brault
DxMay06 3cm IDC 5/15nodes ER+
4xAC 4xTaxol 30 rad

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Postby kiwijan » Thu Mar 27, 2008 1:42 pm

My suggestion is to just continue exactly as you have in the past with your friend. If you visited; continue visiting; if it was just phone contact; continue phone contacting etc. I think when people start to "act differently" does not help the friend at all. Her life has suddenly been turned upside down; so your friend is looking for normality and you can provide that with your normal contact between you both for as long as possible.
Stage 1; Grade 11; bc. ER/PR positive; lumpectomy and rads. Finished 5yrs of tamoxifen on 1/11/10

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Postby jaybee » Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:06 pm

Joys and Tricia I am sorry to hear of your friends. I totally agree with the others in saying just be there for them, be empathetic not sympathetic and take yourselves back as to what you both need when going through your journeys.

Also dont beat yourselves up as this too is one of the hardest things that you will do to yourselves. The feeling of guilt as to why you are doing well when your friends have been given such news. This guilt can really get you down and mess with your feelings. Be the best friend you can be and most of all take care of yourselves. :hugs: We are all here for you in your time of need and support.
dx 04,G3,6x4cm,Stg 2B,IDC,er/pr-her2+,0/22 nodes,RB mastect.TX4xEC 4xTaxane,32 rads,LB Proph mastect 05,DIEP 06,nipple reco 07- 10yrs NED

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Postby CP » Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:05 am

Hi Tricia & Joys,

I was diagnosed with mets about 10 months ago, & I now have relatives & friends who I don't hear from.

All I can suggest is keep in touch, if you feel uneasy on the phone or in person, send an sms occassionally to see how they are.

I have several friends who have touched my heart recently by just keeping in contact & being there for me.

CP (Cheryle)


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Postby cherub » Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:00 am

the best friend you can have through this journey
is one who never forgets
I had lots of so called friends
and even family who just didnt get it
who some I now will never see again
they chose to be scared and ignorant
I find the most comforting thing is a hug & an I love you
give them a caserole so she doesnt have to cook
go over and clean out her fridge
or have hubby mow the lawns so they can spend time
together as a family
anyway thats my hints
Primary BC:
DX Apr 06 DCIS Gr3 St2B Oes + Prog + Lump & Aux 1 node+
TX: ECx4, Radio 6.5wks, Port, Taxol x12 & AI'S & have CFS
October 08 Mets spine & Chest wall
Dec 08 mets liver - taxotere, xoleda & zometa
Jan 09 PPort - now still on Taxotere 18months
Mediastinum mets are taking my voice away
now for rads x 10 august 2010

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Postby jay66 » Tue Feb 26, 2008 9:37 am

Tricia and Joy, so sorry to hear about your friends. I think the most important thing you can do for them is to keep being there friends and not to let anything change that. I know myself with my own bc that certain so called friends have dropped out of the picture. Just being there as friend is worth more then anything else.
Life, Live it.

Dx 7/07 DCIS 2cm, IDC 1.8cm, multifocal. Grade 2/3. 0/7 Nodes. Vascular Lymph Invasion. ER/PR- Her2 +++ under reconstrution lat flap, expanders. C cup

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Postby tricia » Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:39 am

Joys I feel very sad for you and your friend.I have just found out my friend who I had treatment with 2and half years ago has been given 6mths to a year to live. I really dont know what to do to help. Sorry im no help.
Take care Tricia :kiwi:

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breast cancer friend with lung mestastises

Postby joys » Mon Feb 25, 2008 11:15 pm

I have a friend that i went through chemo with who has now :chemo: :ideabulb: just been diagnosed with metasatic cancer in her lungs and lymph nodes. I feel so sad for her and her young children and partner any ideas on what to offer as help ?
BC December 6/2005 bitateral mastect (1 proph + 1 cancer)+ 9/12 nodes+er+ prog- Her2- 2006-FECx6 + radiation X 25 4/2006 BRCA2+ 11/2006(prophilatic ooph+ hyster) now on Arimidex for 5 years. bla!

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