My MUM my bestfriend

[Gail]

Chrissy, more often than not the thought of it all is worse than the actual treatment. Some girls work through chemo, god knows how! I lay on the couch for 12 months I think! You just have to concentrate on you now and getting through this and for once everyone else has to take 2nd. Quite often the steroids given to help with not getting sick will put on weight and also even though you loose your body hair your skin can glow and gives the illusion to family and friends you are doing well when sometimes we are'nt. This is why we support one another here, because we have been through it and know what you are going through.

Take on any help and meals that are offered, don't be the hero, just think that this is a year out of your life and then life goes on.

[chrissys4]

Thank you for making me welcome.
I am having a much calmer day today having been to see the oncologist yesterday and now there is a plan in action. I have all the scans and the heart monitored next week and then the week after I start my six three weekly cycles of chemo.

I can't run and hide so I have to face it all full on.

I must admit it helps alot when I can share what I am going through with people like you and also having a very supportive family.

[kiwijan]

Just wanting to add my welcome to forum

[angel33]

[schoolteacher]

Welcome Chrissy. Hoping for the best possible news for you. You will get through, whatever is thrown at you ,just as we did. It sounds like you have an amazing family and you will help each other through this, everyone is effected. Between us we have experienced most diagnoses, treatments and side effects so there will always be someone to answer any questions or empathize

[debman]

Hi Chrissy and welcome to the forum. I am glad your daughter found us and brought you here. You will find it an amazing source of support as you realise we all understand exactly where you are at both physically and emotionally. I also found it very encouraging to discover that others have felt exactly as I had and have come out of the other side to live happy and rich lives.

The tears are normal and will probably get worse before they get better. I think I cried pretty much every day last year (my treatment year). Firstly, its the shock, then the anger, then the grief, both for the loss of your breast/s and all your hopes and plans. This is soon replaced by tears of pain and exhaustion as you progress through the chemo/rads part of the journey, and then tears that come with the emotional roller coaster of menopause brought about by tamoxifen.

However, I think it's now about 3 or 4 months since I've cried so it really does end.

To me aside from the wonderful support and information I have found here, the biggest advantage has been being able to share those black thoughts that we all have that you really want to shield your family from.


Deb

[jezza]

My tears really freaked me out. I am not the sort of person who cries easily and I know that feeling well. I know I upset my husband and family for the first couple of weeks after my diagnosis but its really something that I couldn't control.

So tears are normal.

You do feel out of control with appointment after appointment.

It probably doesn't help much but we have all felt much the same as you and completely understand. Hope tomorrows appointment answers a lot of questions. Please let us know how you get on.

jezza

[Janette]

Hi and Welcome to the forum.

This is the very worst time with BC and there is no rules about how you should or shouldn't feel. There is no weakness in your emotions or feelings. Of course you don't want it to be hard on family but they love you and want to make it easier for you.

Loss of control is an emotion I think most of us have felt, but it gets better. Take it one day at a time and feel free to call on us for any support we can offer.

[JudyB]

Hi Chrissy, you are certainly not alone in your feelings and you are definitely not weak or selfish! I remember looking forward to chemo and feeling very very lonely, even with everyone around me. It was October and people were getting geared up for Christmas, summer and the holidays and I didn't really know what was in store in for me, I knew it wouldn't be fun filled days on the beach though. The crying is normal too. I think I cried almost every day but only for short moments and I just treated that as a bit of a release. There is no shame in crying.

You do sound like the type of woman who likes to be in control of yourself and I think that once you know for sure where this is going you will feel a lot more in control.

Welcome to the group, I am really glad that your daughter found us and that you decided to post for yourself.

Best of luck to you.

[chrissys4]

Hi to you all and thank you for helping my daughter Jane-Ann with what is happening in her life.

I am calm today as I get myself prepared for my appointment tomorrow on what life has in store for me.

I feel that I should be grateful that the operation was a success and that I should pull myself together as there are many people worse than me. I am just so mad that I do not have any control of my life and I have always been there for my family and now my husband and my family are hurting and that is something I didn't want.

I have found that my emotions are up and down and the water works can start without any warning!!! This makes me feel weak and sometimes I feel that I just can't see my way through all this. Then I get mad again and feel that my planned life has been taken away from me!!

I worry as I don't know what is ahead of me but when I lie in bed in the dark I think about all the love and support I have received, I feel blessed.

I have to go through this journey and may be I should feel glad that I am one of the chosen ones and I am saving someone else from this miserable time. I am normally strong and I am never selfish but this is making me weak and I feel sorry for myself.

My goal is to face this head on and beat it with every will I have in my body.

[Gail]

Wishing you all the very best and hope the chemo and radiation is kind to your mum.

[jezza]

We have discussed on this forum before that Grade 3 seems to be very common amongst us here (read the signitures)....so don't be too disheartened.

Your mum will probably have highs and lows in the coming weeks. Thats very normal.

Keep in touch.

jezza

[schoolteacher]

[Janette]

Thanks for the update.

It isn't unusual for the results to be worse than originally expected from biopsy as it is such a small portion. It is common to have this treatment and hopefully Mum will come out the other side with a new prospective on life and that can be a positive thing. Having your support is one of them.

[HillyandJane]

Thank you for all the response I have had, you have all helped in some way.

Well the long awaited test results returned yesterday with not as good news as we would have liked but hey "they got it all".

Originally she was only considered to be the lowest grade case with the tumor being only 15mm but after the results returned she had a Grade 3, 2.5cm tumor and 3 lymph nodes removed.

We are still waiting on the HERT and a few other results to then confirm treatment, currently being advised 3 months chemo and 6 weeks radiation and a bone scan.

Have done my research on radiation and the side effects but didn't think I'd have to be looking in to chemo. Mum was in high spirits shortly after her results laughing about wigs and bandanas, let's hope we can keep her on a positive note.

I know this is just another step in mums journey and I hope all of you will continue to be as supportive the rest of the way.