my mum :(

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The new girl
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Re: my mum :(

Postby The new girl » Wed Aug 01, 2012 9:21 pm

:wave: hi anijelique you sound like a wonderful and caring daughter,mum sounds like she has battled so much in life now this,life itso unfair! The wheel chair sounds like good idea has mum spoken to a breast care nurse yet?she might have some ideas to having to cope with breast cancer will be so hard for mum,I wish her all the best and to you stay strong and try to get as much help as you can for mum :hugs: Rosa

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Janette
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Re: my mum :(

Postby Janette » Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:51 pm

The electric wheelchair is a great idea if she doesn't already have one, I'm sure she could borrow one through the social worker. I understand though that she would have to use her arms to get in and out of the chair which may be a problem without help for the first few weeks.

Often after surgery they can put you into a rehab centre until you are ok to manage on your own. I spent a few days in one after I broke my ankle because I was 400 klms from home and not quite ready to drive.

Don't be too alarmed there are ways around this. :hugs:
Janette

Dx LCIS Dec 1997, Dx IDC, DCIS, bilateral LCIS Oct 2005 er+pr+her2-
Bilateral Mastectomies, expanders and silicone implants

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jezza
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Re: my mum :(

Postby jezza » Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:35 pm

Hi from me too. I think both the physio and the electric wheelchair are a great idea. See your GP or social worker at the hospital ASAP to discuss these things. It will be a big weight off your mind (and hers) to have things organised.

I had bi-lat mastectomies but only had cancer in one. A lot do these days. I also had very little pain in my arms and was washing my hair in a basin the day (or 2) after my op. Of course a wheelchair is a whole different thing and you need expert advice there.

I hope she does well and has great results.

jezza
Dx Jan. 1992 9mm Grade 3 IDC node neg. LB mast. Prophylactic RB mast. 6 months later. No chemo. No rads. Saline implants. 22 years NED. (No Evidence of Disease)

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Re: my mum :(

Postby Crystalady » Mon Aug 01, 2011 10:16 am

That's a great idea KiwiJan

:clap: Sandra
First diagnosed in Dec 1998. Thyroid cancer 2006. Thought I was free and clear after 10 years but no, mets in spine in Dec 2008. Femara stopped working October 2010.Was on Aromasin and zometa. Now taking Xeloda and Zometa.Xeloda not working Dec 2011. Tamoxifen started. Feb 2012 Now on Abraxane.

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kiwijan
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Re: my mum :(

Postby kiwijan » Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:37 am

Hi; I am looking at this from the physical disability angle. My hubby is a quadriplegic and has been in a wheelchair since 1972. Yes, we are an old couple :pmsl: I will be 70 in a couple weeks time. Anyway; he used a manual wheelchair for years and years - then in 1997 he lost both rotor cuffs in his shoulders and has been in an electric wheelchair ever since. I am thinking; could your Mum get a loan of an electric chair to use for a few weeks? A manual chair does require goodish arms and shoulders to push; but an electric chair requires none. It would allow your Mum to keep her independence and be mobile. Your hospital should be able to suggest where to go to get a loan of an electric chair. Just a suggestion; but I can fully relate to where you are coming from; re Mum loosing her independence. :hugs:
Stage 1; Grade 11; bc. ER/PR positive; lumpectomy and rads. Finished 5yrs of tamoxifen on 1/11/10

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Re: my mum :(

Postby schoolteacher » Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:02 am

Hello Angelique. Your mum's decision is not unusual. Most of us just wanted the cancer OUT and many want to ensure that it doesn't return in the other breast. I had a single mastectomy and it was about 2 weeks recovery. Ask at the hospital, mum should have a breast care nurse or a social worker, they will be able to tell you what support is available.
Knowledge is power. Keep learning and asking questions and it will help you understand what mum is going through and how best to help her. She is lucky to have you :hugs:
DX OCT 08, 9mm Her2+ grade 3 tumour and DCIS. Nodes clear, wide local incision, unclear margins so LB mastectomy, chemo Taxotere Carboplatin Herceptin Tram Flap Nov 2011

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Re: my mum :(

Postby Crystalady » Mon Aug 01, 2011 12:57 am

Angelique, I'm not sure of the recuperation time, but the fact that she has to use it may be better for her in the long term. I think inactivity does more harm than good. With my work I had to lift heavy weights and move in a lot of different ways and I'm sure I healed faster because of it.

Maybe you should talk to a physio at the hospital.

It would be good for your mum if you could get her to join in the forum. It's a lot less scarey when you have more first hand knowledge of what you and your mum will be going through.

We're all here to help.

:grouphug: Sandra
First diagnosed in Dec 1998. Thyroid cancer 2006. Thought I was free and clear after 10 years but no, mets in spine in Dec 2008. Femara stopped working October 2010.Was on Aromasin and zometa. Now taking Xeloda and Zometa.Xeloda not working Dec 2011. Tamoxifen started. Feb 2012 Now on Abraxane.

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Janette
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Re: my mum :(

Postby Janette » Mon Aug 01, 2011 12:27 am

Angelique,
Adrenaline takes over after diagnosis and it helps you get through it. You may be feeling it worse than your Mum at the moment. It shouldn't be a long term problem with her arms. I broke my ankle and was flinging myself around in a wheelchair for a few weeks without problem, but years after the mastectomies mind you.

It isn't uncommon for ladies to want to have both breasts removed, if not at the time of cancer removal, a bit later down the track. It's great that Mum has such a caring, loving daughter. :hugs:
Janette



Dx LCIS Dec 1997, Dx IDC, DCIS, bilateral LCIS Oct 2005 er+pr+her2-
Bilateral Mastectomies, expanders and silicone implants

angelique
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Re: my mum :(

Postby angelique » Mon Aug 01, 2011 12:02 am

thanks its good to be able to talk to people about it my mum doesnt really want to accept it she calls her cancer patrick she wont even say the word the last couple of weeks have been a daze as i have been taking her to all the appointments and trying take everything in and explaining to the rest of my family i havent had time for everything to sink in i am just concerned for her i dont want her to make the wrong decision and worried on how she is going to cope afterwards as she is stubborn and doesnt like to ask for help would it be wrong for me to force it on her??????

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Janette
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Re: my mum :(

Postby Janette » Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:53 pm

Hi Angelique and welcome to the forum.

I had bilateral mastectomies with immediate reconstruction and insertion of expanders. I admit it was a little while before I could take my weight on my hands and arms without pain. It's hard to know how much was from the mastectomies and how much from the expanders.

Mastectomies are not as bad as I expected and I hear the same comment from lots of others. I expect your Mum might need some help for a little while but hopefully not too long. If someone has her surgery in a public hospital in NSW she can ask to see the social worker who can arrange some help getting to appointments and home help, not sure about Qld, but worth checking.

Please let us know how she goes, or encourage her to join the forum. There is plenty of support here. :hugs:
Janette



Dx LCIS Dec 1997, Dx IDC, DCIS, bilateral LCIS Oct 2005 er+pr+her2-
Bilateral Mastectomies, expanders and silicone implants

angelique
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my mum :(

Postby angelique » Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:36 pm

hi im new here my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks ago and is due to have surgery on wednesday, now she has opted to have a bi lateral masectomy though the cancer has only been detected in her right breast and her axillary now im ok with that but the thing that worries me is that she has spina bifida and has been in a wheelchair all her life i am wondering on how long it will be for her to be able to put weight on her arms as that is all she has to get her around, not that i dont mind looking after her but she is independent and doesnt like relying on me how do i tell her its going to be ok when i dont know myself??????


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