Wish my Mum wasn't sick

A place for partners, family and friends to share experiences and information.

trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Sat Jul 30, 2011 3:27 pm

Bored but I don't feel like doing anything. Tired and Homesick. Miss my boys already. :(

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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Sat Jul 30, 2011 11:59 am

Dad woken up by Mum in the middle of the night, she got out of the wrong side of bed. He not happy, she bit agitated because he is tense. Treats her like a child. Something was in his way near her bed, so he removed it completely from her bed. She is moaning again, obviously sore.

Dad always been stroppy even before Mum was sick. All her stuff is cr*p, his stuff isn't. He has to have control of everything and nothing is done right unless he does it. His way and no other way. OMG!

Here comes the weekend....

trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Sat Jul 30, 2011 2:13 am

Thanks. I feel crappy for complaining. When this all started I got into trouble for not giving her enough pain meds. I wasn't a nurse and I only did what they told me. They weren't even onto it in the first place and they still aren't. I went and saw here Doc, think I got somewhere but he still I don't think has an idea of what it must be like for her. He only saw her for 10 minutes without pain, he doesn't see her for the rest of the day. Like when she is fatigued, sore. How difficult the task of having a shower can be.

Mum had radiation therapy on her hip a time after she had a hip replacement, she is sore there constantly. So, looks like the radiation therapy didn't do all that much. However, I do believe that there is still pain after such a procedure. She had hers done September 2010. It would take a great deal of time to heal let alone the mets. I have also read where Femara can cause joint pain and to take Glucosamine. She is taking this, guess that would take time to work.

Something isn't working, she still is in some pain. Is it possible to have no pain? I have read in these situations that there is always pain. It alone makes her so unhappy and imobile. I know what that is like with my own ailments.

Wish these medical people would look after her, they have the technology and the degrees.

This is so hard... :bawl: How on earth do you manage?

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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby Crystalady » Fri Jul 29, 2011 11:55 pm

Trish, I have mets in the bones too and my Onc told me in the beginning that I should never ever have to put up with pain. I think you need to phone whoever is looking after your Mum and explain that she needs more pain meds. Believe me, this trip is so much more tolerable and she'll be a lot easier to live with when she can get rid of the pain.

This will make it easier for you too as you won't have to watch her suffer. You must feel so frustrated.

:grouphug: Sandra
First diagnosed in Dec 1998. Thyroid cancer 2006. Thought I was free and clear after 10 years but no, mets in spine in Dec 2008. Femara stopped working October 2010.Was on Aromasin and zometa. Now taking Xeloda and Zometa.Xeloda not working Dec 2011. Tamoxifen started. Feb 2012 Now on Abraxane.

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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby Janette » Fri Jul 29, 2011 11:38 pm

Hang in there! :hugs:
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trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Fri Jul 29, 2011 11:31 pm

So tired. Dad drinking again, whinging again!!!! Mum in pain - the norm.

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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:41 pm

Thanks. I feel awful at times. I am not the one battling the disease. That indeed seems to be the battle. How I can I presume to know exactly what Mum is going through. Battling the "silly" stuff is really draining but I love my family so very much. While somethings are out of control there are indeed some things we can do about it. Learning all the time.

Saw a post on here and just about burst into tears, it was just like what Mum had been through. While you realise there are others going through it you still feel so alone at times, guess it is the human condition. I know that there comes a time when we all meet our maker and I never thought Mum's time would be like this. Guess I didn't think about that at all, you don't want to. Mum is supposed to be everlasting! What a rip off! :gappygrin: hahaha

Guess we all think we are a bit impervious and that it will never happen to us. I knew friends with "C" and think what I said them out of an attempt of comfort, boy was i absolutely clueless, stupid me.

Thanks for your kindness. :rose:

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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby schoolteacher » Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:15 pm


trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:51 pm

Well plucked up the courage to go and see Mum's Doctor and I think I have him on board. I know they are busy and Mum isn't their only patient but they really, really need the help. This stuff is so hard. I have done all I can do and have done my best. Really hope this helps them. Now to sort out the other problems. Sigh :roll: and double sigh.... I so need a holiday from my life.

trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:22 pm

At Mum and Dads, sorting out Doctors. I have actually booked an appointment to see Mum's Doc. Hopefully it will go well and he will come on board. Don't know if Mum's old Doc has been able to speak to him as yet, she needs prescription for her pain patches like now. OMG!!! So much to do. Arggh - the stress! :grr:

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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby schoolteacher » Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:22 pm

or me :gappygrin: And my mum and dad are 80 and still argue! Of course, they aren't dealing with stage 4 cancer so no real stress in their lives, they are more bored and spend too many hours cooped up together.
The doctors communicating is a positive step :clap:

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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby Janette » Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:49 pm

I've never had a manicure either. :biggrin:
Janette




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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:10 am

Thanks for your replies and info.

Going to see Mum tomorrow. I hope it will be ok, they are so stressed. Speaking to Mum on the phone, complaining about Dad. That is nothing unusual. Then he complains about her. Whats new.

Got onto Mum's old Doctor she is going to speak to her new Doctor, hopefully she will talk him around. I wish we could keep Mum's old Doctor, she is a gift. So gorgeous.

Actually attempted to have some me time today. For the first time in my existence I actually got a manicure. OMG, 40 years old and never had a manicure!!! Hopefully it will be a start to something, looking after myself.

Oh boy this is going to be a long, long week. Mum still complaining about Dad. On and on. He is a hard man but mum aint that a picnic. Oh dear. :ouch:

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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby chrismelb » Tue Jul 26, 2011 6:20 pm

Gosh it all sounds so hard. My father was put on anti depressants last year when he nearly died from chemo effects. It also was to increase his appetite as he was so skinny. Regarding having 'strangers' in the house my father's wife felt the same way and we got annoyed cos we thought she shouldn't knock back help. Tell your mum to get what she needs and feels comfortable with. :hugs:
Dx 9/03 EBC
5/12 ABC bones-Herceptin,Tamox&Zometa
8/12 Liver mets-Abraxane,Herceptin&Zometa
6/13 Xeloda/Tykerb Xgeva
11/14 TDM1 Xgeva
1/15 Rads to tumour in head
2/16 Whole brain rads lepto. mets, continue TDM1
8/16. Navelbine, Herceptin
1/17 Neratanib Xeloda & Herceptin.

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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby schoolteacher » Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:05 pm

You do have your hands full. Sometimes things come in runs. The forum is a place that is easy to access anytime of the day or night for moral support and a place to vent and share your concerns. it sounds like the practical help for mum is very needed. Hopefully the GP can get something happening there...It is a bit hard if mum and dad won't accept help though. Unfortunately it will come to a point where she won't be able to refuse, for her own comfort and well being.
:hugs: to all the family..you are doing it tough
Last edited by schoolteacher on Tue Jul 26, 2011 7:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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