Wish my Mum wasn't sick

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Janette
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby Janette » Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:12 am

I'm sorry Trish, this is a BC Forum, your problems with depression are way outside the scope of this forum. We have 11 pages of suggestions.
Janette


pamela47
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby pamela47 » Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:21 am

Trish,

Have you made that appointment with your doctor yet? Please tell me that you have.
You may cope a lot better after you see him/her.

:hugs: Pam
2005 DCIS on RHS - Lumpectomy and Radiotherapy.
In December 2006 another incident of Cancer on LHS - So had a Bilateral
Mastectomy. 13/8/2009 Had a Bilateral Latissimus Dorsi reconstruction.
December 2009 Massive infection in LHS. - out of hospital after 7 days - all's well since then.

trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:17 am

:bawl: Feeling low again... Had a sleep today and that improved my mood a bit but I am so worried, it is unrelenting.

I had my day planned out a bit. I wanted to bath the dogs. I wanted to get that done at least amongst other things. My ankles started playing up, then my back started aching, on the left side until my whole leg was so sore. Anyway, I continued on through it and bathed my gorgeous little Jack Russell and after that the rest of the day went to cr*p.

The phone rang, Mother in law wanted something, phone rang a couple more times, Mum wanted something and in between it BF wanted what he wants "neverending entertainment". So, I finished doing what I was doing. Did what Mother in law wanted, fobbed Mum off, avoided boyfriend, took a couple of pain killers and slept. Really achieved a great deal.

Wish Mother In Law's kids would bloody do something. They can't be trusted to do certain things, and would rather spend money on booze than a birthday present. I don't want to know anymore. I just can't stand how immature BF's sister and brother are! They really ought to grow up!!!

Feeling awful about not getting back to Mum. But today it was about what everyone else needed (as usual). What about what I need? Straight away when Mum called she talked about her pain, what wasn't being done and that she needs someone to sort things out there. What about what I have to sort out? I love Mum, I really do but dealing with it on an hourly basis is really very difficult.

No wonder I am feeling resentful, selfish and don't want to be around. I just wish for once that someone would notice me. :( :( :( :( :( :(

trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Fri Nov 18, 2011 2:45 am

Hey there. Sorry I didn't get back to you. I am going to see a Doc next week. I really do need help and I am just falling down. No matter what happens, I have to get there.

Yeah I was looking on the internet and came across the website you mentioned, think it is time to give them a call.

Thanks so much for your help. Sorry I missed that post so caught up in the flood. So tired today. Here visiting Mum and it is difficult, dealing with her fears then Dads and on top of that trying to be practically helpful. I am so exhausted... Going home tomorrow, expect I wont get much rest there either.

Anyhow many thanks. :hugs:

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Janette
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby Janette » Thu Nov 17, 2011 4:22 pm

Janette




trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Thu Nov 17, 2011 3:34 am

Hello all, thanks for all of your kind messages. Yeah I am back and I am still here. Back visiting Mum for a couple of days.

I am in a dark place. When I get home I have to ensure I go and see my Doctor. I have nothing to lose and I am not feeling any better for not going there. Maybe this time might be different and she can help me. I need to get on top of this. I am tired of dotonating and being on the verge of losing control, let alone my sanity. I really need perspective.

Sigh. Again many thanks. I have read your posts and they do make sense. :grouphug:

trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Tue Nov 15, 2011 1:40 am

:bawl:

pamela47
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby pamela47 » Sat Nov 12, 2011 12:14 pm

Deb,

Such wise words.

Worth trying Trish, it can only help.

:hugs: Pam
2005 DCIS on RHS - Lumpectomy and Radiotherapy.
In December 2006 another incident of Cancer on LHS - So had a Bilateral
Mastectomy. 13/8/2009 Had a Bilateral Latissimus Dorsi reconstruction.
December 2009 Massive infection in LHS. - out of hospital after 7 days - all's well since then.

debman
Been there, done that
Been there, done that
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby debman » Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:11 am

Hi Trish

I haven't posted on this thread before but have been reading and worrying about you like everyone else. I really feel for you and hate it that you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Feel free to tell me to shut up and mind my own business or just to ignore this post completely but I am concerned that you feel that everyone is after a piece of you and that you have no control over anything.

What I'm going to say works for me, it may not be for you, but all I can do is share my method in the hope that it will be some help.

First of all list everything in your life that is causing you grief or feels a burden. Then go down the list and look at each item and write down whether it is your control to fix it or not:

eg: Mum's cancer - no control
Your depression - some control
My dad's issues - no control
Your boyfriend's health - no control
Your own relationship with any of them - control

etc , etc

You really need to think through each item really carefully and question your response because sometimes things seem outside of your control but there are things you can do to improve the situation. eg. with your depression, you can make the decision to take your medication and work with a therapist even though at the moment you don't feel it will help. With your Dad you can make a decision on how much latitude you will give him with his behaviour and at what point, when he becomes too much, do you tell him he's gone to far and leave.

After your happy with your list take on one of the things where you feel you have some control and concentrate your efforts on taking some control. Work through the list one point a time. Start with the quick wins first so that you start feeling that you are back in the drivers seat. Some might take months to work through but I find this method really empowering and helps me get where I want to be.

:hugs:
Deb
, . Stopped taking tamoxifen in December 2012 after 18 months due to debilitating SEs.

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Gail
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby Gail » Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:34 am

Please get some help for yourself Trish, you are not in a good state of mind at the moment and life will get better again, you have to believe that. :hugs:
"You Gotta Laugh!"

Gail


Diagnosed April 2006,Lumpectomy,17 of 25 nodes positive, chemo, radiation. Finished treatment March 07
Diagnosed July 2012 cancer of mediastinal(nodes around lungs and heart)pelvis and spine. Up for the fight!

angel33
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby angel33 » Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:16 am

Dear Trish

Everyone has cr*p in their life..."it just comes in a different shaped box".

Your "cr*p" is just as valid as ours but it is what we do and learn from the "cr*p" we have been given that matters!

We are all learning. :D

:grouphug:
EBC 1997, bony mets Dec 2000, liver mets april 2007, chemo since

trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Sat Nov 12, 2011 12:13 am

I will be ok. Everyone on here more worried about me than the people around me and you guys have enough cr*p to deal with - great family I have!

angel33
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby angel33 » Fri Nov 11, 2011 4:36 pm

I am worried too, I think many of us here are worried for you.
:grouphug:
EBC 1997, bony mets Dec 2000, liver mets april 2007, chemo since

pamela47
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby pamela47 » Fri Nov 11, 2011 4:32 pm

Please go and see a doctor Trish. You need support to get through this - you can't do it by yourself.

Worried for you. Pam
2005 DCIS on RHS - Lumpectomy and Radiotherapy.
In December 2006 another incident of Cancer on LHS - So had a Bilateral
Mastectomy. 13/8/2009 Had a Bilateral Latissimus Dorsi reconstruction.
December 2009 Massive infection in LHS. - out of hospital after 7 days - all's well since then.

trish.ca71
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Re: Wish my Mum wasn't sick

Postby trish.ca71 » Fri Nov 11, 2011 3:09 pm

Went for a drive lastnight with my pills... And here I still am...Still depressed and very much alive. :)


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