What do I say to my friend? I'm very worried.

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ruth1
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Re: What do I say to my friend? I'm very worried.

Postby ruth1 » Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:33 pm

It is a great Forum Jo and many women with amazing stories of living with this disease. I think you will have to accept your friend is not going to seek conventional treatment and accept that it is her life and hers to manage the way she sees fit. Its very hard to do that though when you can see it isn't the best way. All you can do at this point is to provide whatever support she will let you give. Take care of yourself through this ordeal Jo.
Dx IDC 2cm grade 3 ER/PR pos. DCIS grade 3, fam hist metastatic BC. Bi lat mastectomy, FEC x 4, surgical revision pending. AI x 5 yrs Femara

Jobaby
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Re: What do I say to my friend? I'm very worried.

Postby Jobaby » Tue Aug 01, 2017 7:12 pm

Thank you all so much for your advice, words of wisdom and indeed honesty. All appreciated here. I know if she ever does come to the point where she seeks my advice, besides telling her to visit a Dr immediately, I'd also tell her to join this fantastic forum.
Thank you again. X

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Janette
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Re: What do I say to my friend? I'm very worried.

Postby Janette » Tue Aug 01, 2017 3:49 pm

Hi Jobaby
It would be frustrating trying to change your friend's mind about treatment, when you care so much. It is her decision. You are a great friend, being there for her is probably all you can do.

It can spread to the skin and isn't pretty unfortunately. :hugs:
Janette

Dx LCIS Dec 1997, Dx IDC, DCIS, bilateral LCIS Oct 2005 er+pr+her2-
Bilateral Mastectomies, expanders and silicone implants

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jezza
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Re: What do I say to my friend? I'm very worried.

Postby jezza » Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:00 pm

Chrismelb has always been very honest but she is a prime example of what modern medicine can do. I'm sure everyone has begged your friend to at least seek conventional help, even to be used in conjunction with "natural therapies".

I think any cancer specialist or even GP would be shocked to see someone with such an advanced cancer getting little or no help. It seems like nothing you could say would change her mind but you are a true friend for still reaching out trying to get help for her. So many alternate methods are very expensive and this adds to all the stress as well.

Sorry...not much help I know . It's hard to believe that she still thinks she is being helped and she must be in a lot of pain...if not now in the near future. I don't thing natural remedies will be of much use then.

So sorry

Hugs

jezza
Dx Jan. 1992 9mm Grade 3 IDC node neg. LB mast. Prophylactic RB mast. 6 months later. No chemo. No rads. Saline implants. 22 years NED. (No Evidence of Disease)

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chrismelb
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Re: What do I say to my friend? I'm very worried.

Postby chrismelb » Tue Aug 01, 2017 10:00 am

sorry to be blunt but i am very honest and in a bad way.
she is dying slowly, let her do it her way xoxoxoxoxxxoo
SORRY BUT TRUTH
Dx 9/03 EBC
5/12 ABC bones-Herceptin,Tamox&Zometa
8/12 Liver mets-Abraxane,Herceptin&Zometa
6/13 Xeloda/Tykerb Xgeva
11/14 TDM1 Xgeva
1/15 Rads to tumour in head
2/16 Whole brain rads lepto. mets, continue TDM1
8/16. Navelbine, Herceptin
1/17 Neratanib Xeloda & Herceptin.

ruth1
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Re: What do I say to my friend? I'm very worried.

Postby ruth1 » Tue Aug 01, 2017 9:31 am

Jo this is really difficult - I knew a person who followed this kind of regime - she was my close friend's sister. Exactly the same story of thousands and thousands of dollars spent and every day taken up with all kinds of therapy - none of it worked and she passed away. I think if we look at some of the people that have been very much on this path and it hasn't worked - Olivier NJ, Linda McCartney - had access to the best of natural care and practiced vegan diets etc. Problem is its very hard to convince someone who is completely indoctrinated to this way to change.

There are people on this forum who have terminal illness but are still living life because they are on the treatments available now. Your friend has a terrible problem if the lump has increased to the size it is - cancer tumours are not abcesses that burst and then all is fine. I would hope you could get her to a cancer clinic to at least get an opinion - but perhaps she doesn't want to hear it. All in all I guess this is her choice but it is very hard for those around her that care to see someone reject the treatment that might help to prolong her life. I am a person who sees the sense in rejecting chemicals in food - preservatives, colourings and like - I think the pesticides have a dreadfiul effect on our health but I think there has to be a balance with this. We don't see cancer cured people on tv exposing the wonderful therapies that cured them. We do find on forums people that are still living thanks to conventional drugs.
Dx IDC 2cm grade 3 ER/PR pos. DCIS grade 3, fam hist metastatic BC. Bi lat mastectomy, FEC x 4, surgical revision pending. AI x 5 yrs Femara

Jobaby
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What do I say to my friend? I'm very worried.

Postby Jobaby » Mon Jul 31, 2017 11:58 pm

She had breast cancer 14 years ago.Had it removed and went through chemo and radiation.
It is back and she has tested positive for brca.
She has decided to go the natural therapy route and is not using western medicine. A year has passed with her spending thousands on anything from massages to diets to metal jackets and foot spas. The lump is now as large as a fist and threatening to burst through her skin. In fact, one of her therapists told her this is likely to happen and that it will smell! All the while she is convinced that their cures are working and that this is all part of the process.
I (and others) have tried to convince her to at least seek the opinion of Western doctors/oncologists and then weigh up the information. Is there any advice or wisdom you can offer? Any personal anecdotes that might be relevant? Thank you in advance.


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