Newbie here and to cancer

[jane dio]

Do you know what.. I don't have the energy and I just plain could not be bothered worrying about what people think. I am exhausted, I haven't slept for the past 3 nights. I lay in bed watching every minute tick by. If i'm lucky I might pass out during the day for an hour, an hour and a half at most. I am physically and emotionally bother. I leave for the hospital in a few hours. got dragged into a domestic situation that span all day. spent all night washing and folding.. no ironing.. go to bed at 2am and just watch the minuted tick by. get up at 4.43 and here I am.. 5.09 am no sleep and due to get up in 30 mins to get ready to leave for surgery. LOL, they wont need to give me a general because I reckon I am gonna pass out waking to admin.. Oh well.. Wish me luck, may as well do 30mins of ironing. Catch you guys on the other side.. (scared shittless)..

[JudyB]

I am actually gobsmacked by your 'friends'comments. I have heard many ignorant comments and heard of even more but this one takes the cake. Normally I would agree and just say ignore her but she seriously needs to be told exactly what she has said that is unacceptable. Sorry I am not usually this harsh but I am absolutely amazed that anyone could be so ignorant as to tell a supposed friend that they are joking about having cancer and that their diagnosis isn't well thought out for a prank. So much for breast cancer awareness.

[Janette]

Very insensitive. Unfortunately cancer can sort out your real friends.

[The new girl]

Hi Jane,you don't need people like that in your life,very insensitive.
Rosa

[ruth1]

what an ignorant person - for a start off - cancer is staged and graded when pathology is done. Staging is the level the cancer has invaded the body and grading is how fast the cancer is growing and spreading - 2 totally different things. A grade 3 tumour is the highest grade but it can be very early stage - this was my pathology - grade 3 invasive ductal but stage 2A because it was a certain size but not in my nodes or spread anywhere else. The NOS - stands for not otherwise specified. Skin cancer is melanoma or basal cell carcinoma - carcinoma is a cancer arising in the epithelial tissue of the skin or of the lining of the internal organs so its a term used for both cancer in skin or in internal organs. Its best to avoid people who have no idea what they're talking about and have no commonsense.

[jane dio]

Went and seen a girlfriend. She knew a little of what's been going on so we sat down with a cuppa and I told her. We talked about life in general, then full circle back me and wanting to know what stage I was. When I explained I haven't been staged she gave me a disbelieving eye roll and said that was unusual because I should be graded as soon as the tests are positive. She then went on to ask what sort of cancer I had. I told her Invasive Ductal Carcinoma NOS. She laughed and told me I should research cancer a little better next time I wanted to play a practical joke on her. She went on to tell me that carcinoma was skin cancer. I told her that was the diagnosis I was given. She quickly looked at her watch and told me she was late for an appointment and showed me to the door. I cannot believe that she thought I would stoop so low as to pretend I had cancer. Fair go...Another friend bites the dust....

[jezza]

I agree....you need to see a new GP. I don't think that you would ever have a good relationship with that one after she has upset you so much. Ask around family and friends in your area for an understanding one. Mine has got me through a lot, and even now when I ask for a referral I ask her for who she thinks is best ...and someone nice! Your GP will get all sort of test results for your records and it's good to be able to chat to them about things as well as your specialists.

You can get your records transferred to a new Dr (when you find one you are comfortable with) or at least a summary of them if they are too lengthy.

jezza

[JudyB]

Jane you don't really need a stat dec to get out of jury duty. I went through the same thing when I was having treatment for uterine cancer. You can put it off to the latest date and you still aren't ready you can put it off again. I got mine put off twice and then finally had to admit to myself that I didn't know when I would be ok to do it. I told them that I couldn't commit and that was when they told me to send a stat dec in. I never did and haven't heard anything back from them since, that was almost two years ago.

[ruth1]

I don't think you can commit to jury duty because you might find you require further treatment once pathology results come in after surgery. I don't want to scare you but my disease was thought to be very minimal prior to surgery but it was discovered I had another 2 small tumours that weren't picked up before and also the grading was done and found to be grade 3 which is high grade and aggressive so I was advised to commence chemo. This was all unknown prior to surgery. I agree that perhaps another Dr might be able to provide better certification stating this. You will find that meds get prescribed very readily to cancer patients because many of them require help to get through the rigours of stress and treatment. At the end of mine I threw out a huge box of meds that somehow I collected and no longer needed. I also had to see a Psych prior to surgery because I elected to have a double mastectomy so they had to ascertain that I had capacity to make such a decision and I was no afflicted by any mental impairment. I remember being very affronted by this as it felt like I wasn't capable of making the best decision for me - looking at it from their perspective I realized that they have to deal with all kinds of people and many who cant cope with this and therefore decisions which are life changing need to be fully assessed.

[jane dio]

I so need a new GP... Get this -
I got papers today saying I have been selected for jury duty from 1st May - 31 July. I have to fill in the paperwork and have it back to them within 14 days from date of letter... leaves me 4 days.. I don't know what stage I will be at come May 1st so I am going to try and be excused. I need a stat dec and a doctors certificate. Saw GP and asked if she would supply one.. " Well, by then you will be over surgery so no." Anyway I eventually talked her into giving me a medical certificate. THEN she says, "Oh I just got your paperwork thru from Breast Care and you need anxiety pills and sleeping pills and anti depressants because your not coping oh and I see you've had your haircut short.. hmm you need to see a psychologist too." REALLY.. hello.. She won't sign a form but she'll write scripts for drugs I do not wont nor do I need at this point. SO I asked her how she would feel if she went thru 8 weeks of tests and waiting and waiting to be called by aa GP.. and told to come she her but bring hubby and don't drive and be careful.. (She said that would be horrible.. I said, "well lady, that's what you did to me a week ago. THEN to top it off I said what was the next step and you say you don't know and I have wait to see a specialist".. GP was shocked.. I said " so now do you know why I was depress, nervous scared crying.. not sleeping". She apologised but then went back to trying to get me to start popping pills.. WOW, hence - I need a new GP

[JudyB]

Hi again Jane, I am glad that you are feeling a little better, well at least as much as you can considering what you are going through. I do hope that we have all helped as that is what we are here for. You can tell us anything you want and we will understand or even if we don't we certainly do understand that that is the way you feel and therefore it's valid.

[ruth1]

Jane you sound much brighter which is really good. Yes, mother duties never stop - prob good its keeping you busy and might distract you. I am glad our posts are helping.

[jane dio]

Thanks guys. From discovery to diagnosis took 8 weeks.. wow, too dam long. From diagnosis to surgery 2 weeks, so that's not bad. I have an amazing breast care nurse who calls me every morning to see how I am. I had my hair cut just a few hours ago and wow.. it's short but you know it will help having it short after surgery and it will grown back. Going to rest for 30 mins and then off to do school run, tutoring, dinner and so it goes on.. But, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And that's thanks to the support I have had from you guys xoxo

[Janette]

Jane posting your feelings might be the most helpful thing at the moment. We're listening and we understand the emotions. We were all in the dark as to size of the tumour until it was removed and it is very unsettling.

It does get better when you know exactly what you're dealing with.

[ruth1]

omg Jane - you've got so much happening in your life - kids to worry about and pain probs etc. You did so well to wean yourself off the pain meds so I get why you are very reluctant to reach for meds again but this situation may benefit from a bit of help just to get that sleep so you are rested before surgery. I felt the same way about my surgery - just get the damn thing out - I hated it being there. I had to wait 6 weeks from dx to surgery and it was a very hard time. I would also say to not firther stress out about things that can be done after surgery - just get the necessary stuff organized and if anyone offers help - take it. You will need some help with the housework, shopping, cooking and kids so delegate those duties before hospital if you can.