Hi...Vent warning

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Hi. Apologising in advance for the long vent. Feel free to scroll past. Long time since I have been here. Still living with mets but struggling with family issues. My husband couldn't cope and left about 3 months ago. I have a grown up daughter living with me because she broke a vertebrae in her spine and fractured her foot in a car accident and I have been caring for her. She is improving now and is out of her back brace and starting to drive and I no longer have to shower her but we are having a lot of issues with each other. Firstly she is living as if I am going to drop dead at any moment which as far as I know isn't too likely, and secondly, she keeps saying she wants to help me but her actions are that everything is about her and she is really wanting me to feel sorry for her.

At the moment I am waiting to hear from my oncologist because I have been on the new chemo - Kadcyla - but my tumour markers are getting worse so she wanted me to have a CT scan before I continued with treatment. My daughter yelled at me today saying I don't tell her anything and I yelled back because I don't know anything. She doesn't understand that cancer is a largely "silent" disease. By the time you have definite symptoms it is usually nasty and I have no idea where things are at. Last scan was horrible with tumours multiplying everywhere. This one could be bad news, goood news or neutral news but I simply don't know. She seems to think that I should somehow know what is going on in my body but apart from feeling sh%#@ty and my pain levels going up I have no other information until I get the scan results. Then she complained that I didn't call her when my husband was being particularly nasty and unhelpful saying that she would have come to help and that I didn't love her enough to ask her. She wouldn't believe me when I said I loved her too much to ask her. Why would I ask her to give up her life and her business 900km away to come and care for me because I was having a hard time - when I have other children still at home and had a husband with me at the time? And at the time she was always telling me she had no money and we didn't have enough to send her money to drive here. Then she tells me she can't cope with me being sick and she worries all the time. I explained that her not coping was something she needed to deal with because I am not likely to share the intricate details of how horrible I am feeling if I then have to spend hours comforting her and helping her feel ok. I need her to deal with her problems elsewhere if she really wants to help me. That was a big reason why my marriage has collapsed - because my husband can't cope with me being sick and I can't cope with his not coping. I have enough on my plate caring for my youngest with a disability and managing my own health.

So now I feel like she hates me and resents me which is how she is behaving and I still have to live with her. She can't afford to move out and I can't help her because I am on disability now.

I am really over having to help everyone else deal with me having cancer. I just want to deal with myself and my little one. How do all of you manage relationships?? I can't bear having people feel sorry for me or behave as if I am about to drop dead and talk behind my back. I keep telling them I will live until I am dead, why is that so hard to work with?