Needing to hear some inspiration after recent diagnosis....

[mum2chloe]

Hi Cosomo

What you are feeling is completely normal. I didn't function at all well for the first 18mths. I remember all the tears over nothing. All I could think of 24/7 was not being here and wonder what everything will look like when I'm not here. A trip to the shops tears as soon as I got out the car at the carpark. Music more tears. My daughter talking to me more tears, this went on and on for twelve months. I would see Physcologist and not even make it to the lift with her and the tears would flow.

I'm now in a much better shape health wise. I was diagnosed with liver mets just over 3years ago now, currently not on chemo, just herceptin and aromasin. My little girl had just turned 5 and was in kindy, now my little girl is in grade 2 and not long ago turned 8.

Hang in there with time I promise the raw emotional dark cloud does go away.

All the best

[chrismelb]

Cosoma I also live with advanced breast cancer. There are many highs and lows, some very very deep lows too. I was originally diagnosed in 2003 with EBC and in 2012 with advanced disease. My daughter recently turned 16 and that is something I never thought I'd see. It takes a long time to come to grips with the enormity of it all but you will. xo

[Tigger]

The most confronting thing we can face is our mortality. Please talk about it to people that can understand and can help you work through the emotions. It is a lot like anything hard. You experience a range of emotions - denial, anger, grief, resignation then more anger and grief, acceptance then another dose of anger. It is a bit of a roller coaster at times but remember that is normal and we all go through it. I know quite a few people living long lives with extensive mets. A lady up the road has had mets to most of her body for over 10 years and is still going strong and they are stable. There are new treatment options all the time. I am on a brand new chemo that has just come off trial and it is working with the least side effects I have experienced.

When I first got my mets diagnosis I felt like I could drop off anytime soon and everyone was treating me as if I was about to die but as time went on I realised that for the moment it is more like havinga chronic disease that needs regular treatment and death is not imminent. You have a long time to be around!!

Give yourself time and space to work through your emotions - don't ignore them - and you will find that you reach a place where you can handle it. We are amazingly resilient

[Tracey Gibney]

Cosoma I am coming up to 8 years with bone and soft tissue mets I have lived really well on endocrine drugs during this time. I am due to start on Ibrance which is a CDK 4-6 inhibitor similar to your trial drug. It is a very difficult time when you are first diagnosed but as each year has passed I have found it easier. I have had periods of anxiety that have been helped by seeing a psychologist and regular meditation. Many women with bone mets live a long time so don't despair just yet. You have to wait and see how you respond to treatment and even then there are many new drugs on the horizon. We are always here for you to talk to because we do understand what you are facing. Sending you a hug Tracey

[Pamelamary]

Dear Cosoma,
As a woman currently living with stage IV breast cancer, I can understand something of what you are going through now. It will take some time just coming to terms with the diagnosis, but note that I say I am LIVING with this disease. Try to keep in mind that statistics don't really tell us much about the individual, and treatments are improving all the time. There are many women on this forum who are ER+ with bone mets. I am sure they will chime in as well, but there are many stories of hope.
Best wishes..... Pam

[The new girl]

hi Cosoma,sending you a big hug,that's so hard to take in,let's hope the medication your taking will keep you with your family for many years,talking to a professional can help,it's something we all fear but for you it's a reality .....Rosa

[ruth1]

Hi Cosoma, that's the worst news and I haven't a clue how you deal with that. There are ladies on this forum who are living with secondaries and have been doing so for years. I hope that will provide some form of hope for you.

I think you need to see someone that works in this field. I have had great help with depression from the Psych attached to the Breast Cancer Clinic at the hospital. These medicos deal with this so know where you are at. This might provide you with some way to cope. I also see a Psychologist there so its a team effort. The ladies on this forum who are in a similar position will make contact with you.

I think this is the most awful part of this disease - I often ruminate on the 'what if'. I have a daughter 17 now so I am grateful that Ive got her this far.

Great that you are on a trial and fingers crossed that will work for you.

[Janette]

Wow Cosoma, what a shock. We have very supportive members here. It's not surprising you find it hard to talk about, people often say the wrong thing and most don't really understand the difference between primary and secondaries.

Thankfully lots of ladies do see their children growing up, some for many years. Drugs are showing improvements all the time, hopefully the trial will have great results for you.

[Cosoma]

After giving birth to my second daughter at 31, I was diagnosed with 9 grade 3 cancer tumours in my left breast, along with 4 out of 12 positive nodes, followed by a double mastectomy, chemo, radiation and a combination of zolidex and fermara for 6 years.

I was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in my pelvis and lower spine 8 weeks ago, I am continuing with Zolidex, tamaxifin and taking part in the double blind trial of Lee001.

Needing to hear some inspiring stories to fill me with hope, as I am lost is the shock, fear and sadness, which has only taken hold of me these past few days.... more so the horrible thought of not being there for my young daughters and my dear husband.

I need to accept what is, I need to focus on the here and now, but how?

I have so much support from friends and family, but for some reason I cant talk....

Any help would be appreciated